Trials, challenges, and mental notes . . . reminders

Yesterday was to be the first day of my juice feast (92 days?  - we'll see).  I messed it up though.  

Saturday night, I got too lazy, or too complacent, or too toxic to prepare for juicing in the morning.  I also slept late.  I had less than an hour to shower, dress, and drive to work for the day, so mad as hell at myself for not getting my juice made, I moved on.  I ate some poorly cooked food and drank some coffee, had some almonds later in the day, and some greasy bbq chips with a sandwich for dinner.  

Mental note #1:  Get up early to make the juice.

Now, this was tasty food, mind you, - but, it was a far fetch from my planned juice feast diet fare.  How did it make me feel?  I decided NOT to feel guilty.  I embraced my humanity and reminded myself that life is for the living, and that food is to be enjoyed.  Sure, the food was crap, and I was adding more waste into my body, instead of nutrition - no wholeness at all.

Moving on, I started with my juice today.  Ok, I confess, I had a banana first thing, then a cup of coffee, with creamer and some agave nectar.   THEN, I made my juice.

Mental note #2:  Chuck the coffee already!  Bananas not allowed on this feast.

I failed at getting to the grocery store yesterday, so I was faced with the stuff I already had in the fridge.  Most of it was only a few days old, but I admit, I could taste the difference in just those few days.

Mental note #3:  Make a habit of getting to the store on a daily basis.

I started with a green pepper and then added a cucumber, some sprouts, then some romaine lettuce.  Celery, apple, a small handful of green grapes, and three small carrots completed the mix.  The dominant taste was carrotty, green peppery.  I think its supposed to be kept more simple than all these flavors, but I was going for a full quart of juice.  

Mental note #4:  Keep it simple, songbird.  Three veggies good, many veggies not so good.

I poured each glass of collected juice into a 1.25 qt. blender jar as it was made until it was filled.  The rules of the game or, I mean, "feast" is to have at least 2 lbs. of greens, a head of celery and a cucumber per day in your juice.  During the rest of the day you can have whatever juices you want as long as they are fresh and organic, and made in your juicer.

Mental note #5:  This is where you get different juice experiences, instead of combining so many in one juice.

So, I am not sure how many pounds of greens I got into my juicer today, but I did end up with 1.25 qt. of juice, green, and indeed, even tasty.  Having done the juicing thing before, I always observe the color each veggie or fruit has upon the final result.  This juice, having some carrot in it, was not as bright green as when carrot is not added.  Not exactly muddy, but a bit more "olive" in color.   The taste of the juice is good and very veggie.

After drinking about half the juice, I already had a "cleansing" BM - in just a few short hours.  Having eaten solid cooked and unhealthy foods yesterday, I was happy to see this, but ready to move on.  I'm expecting more of the same for the next week or more, along with a little drop in my weight, which will be welcomed.

Mental note #6:  Weigh your body less, weigh your veggies more.

A word about my weight.  This IS a motivation for me.  My goal is to stop needing blood pressure medication and to heal my digestive system.  Frequently, I have symptoms that are not debilitating but nevertheless, inconvenient, annoying, and destructive to my wellbeing.  I hope to fix that, or at least, to head off in that general direction.

I also want to explore my spirituality.  The events of the past year in my personal life have nudged me in this direction and I want to give myself time and energy to commit attention to this path.  Juice feasting is said to enhance, or even, promote a deepening awareness of one's spiritual nature and growth.  I look forward to experiencing this.

Mental note #7:  Spend time in prayer, meditation, nature, self-reflection.

Mental note #8:  Try not to make a big deal out of messing up.  Keep a Plan A and a Plan B for those times when life throws some obstacles in your path.  Forgive yourself if you mess up.  Remind yourself of your humanity and keep a smile on.  Cultivate your sense of adventure by explorations with new veggies.  Have some fruit juice too.

I'm ready to get on with it now.  ;^)

Ready, Set, Go, - or, How I Came to This Decision

Tomorrow starts the first day of my attempt to do a 92 day juice fast or "feast".  The difference is a feast requires me to take in at least a gallon of green juice a day, regardless of any other juices I might also have on any given day.

Here's where I need to explain a little more about this "juice feast" and why I'm doing it.

Last year, 2008, began with pain in my back and my right abdomen.  After struggling to work through it, to stretch it, to massage it, self-diagnose it, and finally, get the required medical tests to discover its true nature, it was discovered that I had, not only a herniated L4 disc, a small tear in the S1, and some degeneration of the spine at L5, BUT, there is also a tumor in my stomach, near the esophagus, diagnosed as a "GIST", gastrointestinal stromal tumor.

So many tests later, and no real treatment plan for any of these conditions left me in a kind of bewildered state.  I was angry at the doctors for seemingly not caring that I might need more information from them.  I questioned how the tumor was "benign" when there had been no biopsy.  I spent countless hours and days reading academic papers online with information far above my comprehension, determined to overcome my medical training deficit.  There was a lot of scary information about GISTs and cancer.  I felt resentment that I was forced to find it for myself rather than my doctors voluntarily taking some time to talk to me about my concerns.  I felt less worthy than the next scheduled patient, not taken seriously, as though I was a hypochondriac.  Even some of my family and friends seemed to lack real concern, and there were comments that made me feel as though I was a 4 year old child.

I started to look into eating differently.  I looked for alternative treatments to heal my conditions.  I read, and read, and read, and I pulled out my juicer, and threw away my processed foods.  I began to eliminate fatty, processed foods and began to eat lots more salads, bought supplements, oils, and powders.  I tried things like cacao nibs, making almond milk, soaking and grinding nuts, flaxseed crackers, seaweed, coconut water, and a lot more.  In short, I attempted to "go raw".

I'll write more about my "attempts" to go raw and the challenges I was met with later.  For now, I am simply intending to do this "Juice Feast" for 92 days and see what happens.  I have an appointment for a CT scan in the next week, so the size of the tumor can be monitored.  I'll report on its growth or shrinkage or other status.

Tomorrow morning, I'll combine the juice of celery, cucumber, and apple, and maybe some ginger.  During the day, I'll have other juices as well, along with water, and some peppermint tea for managing flatulence (yuck).

I'm looking forward to this new turn in my journey to heal myself, or at least to turn away from a desperate situation.  By being proactive in my own healthcare, I've taken responsibility from the doctors and accepted it myself - a kind of empowering action, don't you think?

Let's see how it goes.